Clab

Clab (or Caleb) is a member of Cancer Caw.

Veganism
As of October 26, 2019, Clab has been claiming to be on a strict Vegan Diet, despite his appearance not changing. Most of the Caw does not care that Clab is vegan, but persists in letting us know that he is chocking down some beyond awful dish. This is a large deviation from Clab's traditional diet, which usually consists of 5 Dizzy Whizz Burger, and the subsequent diet change has ruined Clab's ability to ever process cheese in the same way again.

Farts
Officially beginning on March 30th, 2014, Clab began regularly recording his farts. He would often fart directly into his Yeti Blue microphone, which he specifically bought in order to record high quality farts as close to his asshole as humanly possible. On October 9th, 2015, Clab uploaded a track to Soundcloud under the pseudonym "All My Farts" titled "235 Farts (All My Farts)" to mass acclaim. This track was posted to /mu/ where it was received well, and later posted to Reddit, which was cringe. The name of the track, however, was misleading; the song only included 234 of Clab's own farts, as fart69 was actually Shane's fart, which was bookmarked at that number for being a particularly disgusting and awful fart.

Farts Recorded by Year
Over time, Clab has recorded less and less farts, mainly because he has become so absolutely fat and lazy that he won't even lift his rotund ass from the chair to record the pristine, high quality farts that became his calling card. At his height, Clab recorded 240 farts in a year, but in the year 2019, Clab recorded a mere singular fart. 2020 has been noticed as a sort of Fart Renaissance, however, as Clab has returned to keeping Audacity open sometimes in order to capture gnarly farts for the collection.

The list below has the full number of farts recorded by Clab each year since their inception.
 * 2014 - 86 farts
 * 2015 - 240 farts
 * 2016 - 211 farts
 * 2017 - 172 farts
 * 2018 - 5 farts
 * 2019 - 1 fart
 * 2020 - 11 farts

Mean
Clab is notoriously mean and actively attempts to ruin everyone's lives, either through pretending to be stupid, actually being stupid, being annoying, taking up positions he doesn't believe in, taking up positions he does believe in but has no right believing in, failing at video games, refusing to get good at video games, playing video games that no one else in the Caw wants to play, etc. Clab's meanness was involved in the near-extinction level Tek Talk Ex-Com Event.